Seedy billionaire online poker magnate's $25million ante-up in Ecuador racketeering lawsuit will bomb says ex-partner

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

image for Seedy billionaire online poker magnate's $25million ante-up in Ecuador racketeering lawsuit will bomb says ex-partner
Rien me va plus, Monsieur Donziger

New York - "I heard they kicked him out of Gamblers Anonymous for that $25million Donziger punt," former investor Arurag Dikshit (No kidding!) said today just as his onetime Californian business partner, the billionaire online gambling tycoon Russ DeLeon, was being named as the most exposed litigation backer in a NYC racketeering lawsuit.

Gibraltar-based DeLeon laid out a staggering $25million to bankroll NY shyster lawyer Steven Donziger's $19billion shakedown of US super major Chevron in an Ecuadorian fantasy factory lawsuit.

The promise of tenfold returns had DeLeon salivating into his gaming chips according to pals who reckon his legendary Gambler's Sixth Sense must have staged an extraordinary comeback to inspire the Donziger punt.

"Yeah, but at odds of 10/1 you know you're backing a very dubious animal," Dikshit commented, "which statistically hasn't a hope in hell of winning unless doped up to the eyeballs on amphetamine sulphate - and even then it'll never pass the stewards' piss test."

Now that gambler's intuition is about to be tested to the limit as Judge Lewis Kaplan's long-awaited judgement in the Chevron RICO - racketeering - lawsuit against Steven Donziger is about to be made public.

And the odds are looking decidedly bad for Donziger and his hideous ragbag of Ecuador pollution scam backers who now stand to lose at least $70 million in the NYC civil litigation proceedings - ahead of a potential new court case, this time on criminal racketeering charges.

"It would sure make some folk happy if the Judge froze Donziger's Gibraltar bank account," Dikshit added, "the one where he's hoping to stash his $600million Ecuador paycheck!"

Judge Nicolas Zambrqno is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more