Judge orders courtroom sweep at start of Ecuador racketeering trial

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

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No mercy for the little varmints

New York - "Filthy little bugs all over the place, Your Honor," counsel for Amazonbotch lawyer Steven Donziger claimed today as Judge Lewis Kaplan agreed yet another eleventh hour stay to the RICO racketeering trial to enable court pest control officers to deal with the alleged pesky varmints.

Donziger is in the dock accused of conspiring to mastermind a massive $19 billion fraud against US super major Chevron which would have netted him a whopping 10% in attorney fees.

That's $1.9 billion for a decade of legalistic bullshit moves designed to screw over the US energy company by playing an entirely spurious environmental card in the corrupt-as-hell tinpot dictatorship of President Rafael Correa's Ecuador.

But Donziger got rumbled and this week his entire Ecuadorian house-of-cards litigation history will be up for public screwtiny under the rapier-like examination of Chevron lead counsel Randy Mastro.

The long awaited trial saw Judge Lewis Kaplan's Lower Manhattan courtroom packed to the rafters with standing room only in the public gallery once the bug sweep had sluiced out all the crap.

Dozens of reporters - including stringers for renowned satire news site www.The Spoof.com - vied for ad hoc places released just 20 minutes before the start of proceedings to get that all important first glimpse of Steven Donziger.

Catch more on this fast-breaking news story in the next scheduled update in this column tomorrow.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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