A Homeless Man In Illinois Wins $293 Million In The Lottery And Gives It To President Obama

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 9 December 2013

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Melville Paxperkins buys one lottery ticket each day.

CHICAGO - Melville Paxperkins has been a homeless man for 17 years. He said that he lost his house in a poker game back on Labor Day of 1996.

Mr. Paxperkins has been hanging out at the same Chicago corner for the past 15 years and he says that everyday he takes a dollar and buys a lottery ticket.

Well he finally won and he won big. Melville hit the lottery jackpot that had worked its way up to $293 million.

He was immediately approached by all kinds of lawyers, investment agents, bankers, scam artists, and used car salesman.

Right away Paxperkins told everyone not to bother him because he was not going to be keeping the money. Everyone was shocked.

He then said that money has always made him nervous. He remarked that he had decided to take all of his lottery winnings and give it to President Obama so that he could help pay off some of the nation's humongous debt.

When he contacted the president, he was asked by President Obama if he meant that he wanted for him to take his $293 million and donate the entire amount to the U.S. Treasury or just some of it like say $400,000 for example.

Paxperkins reportedly said to the president, "Good try Barry old boy, good try. And to answer your question I want you to take the entire $293 million and place every penny into the United States Treasury."

"Dammit!" Obama uttered disappointingly. He then added "Hey Mr. Paxperkins, your wish is my command sir."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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