Wolves Invade City of Moline Terrified Citizens Say City Administrators Are Slow to Protect City

Written by kalinyak54

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

image for Wolves Invade City of Moline Terrified Citizens Say City Administrators Are Slow to Protect City
Have you seen this wolf?

In the Illinois city of Moline, "The Friendly City on the Banks of the Mississippi River", a ravaged deer carcass was found in the 4400 block of 34th Avenue . Maverick wild game trapper Bob Qwent is certain it's a wolf attack. "Only wolves kill like that", Qwent told the Moline City Council Thursday night.

The midwestern city of Moline has come under attack from invading wolves and it's 43,768 terrified residents are waiting for something to be done about it. The unprecedented wolf assault on the city has already left a generation of school kids afraid to go outside, let alone venture off into the surrounding wooded areas or even city parks. The situation is all the more terrifying for no one has ever seen any of the fearsome wolves.

The invasion comes at the height of the bald eagle watching season and city officials, according to some Moline residents, have been slow to believe it out of concern for lost tourist revenues. Chris Watkins who owns the property where the last wolf attack occurred saw tracks in the mud. "I saw their tracks. I put the number of wolves here to be "at least" six, maybe 8." Trapper Qwent however says based on phone calls to him that the total number in the area is much higher, as many as 25.

Right now some Moline residents are living in fear of attack. "They're more concerned about the town's economy than public safety, and it's obvious Mayor Vaughn is trying to pass the deer carcass off as the result of a 'car accident' to avoid taking action", says neighborhood resident Wallace Kanchis. At an open city council meeting Kanchis demanded action. Said Kanchis, "We need protection and we want it now". According to another resident, Gina Kintner, wolves jumped a 9 foot fence surrounding her yard and carried off her two toy Doberman Pinschers. "They pushed that rear-gate open to get out", said Kintner. Kintner says she is offering a $500 reward to anyone who can kill a wolf.

Only a day after the first attack, two large wolves were reported running through backyards towards a wooded area. Moline police responded and immediately cordoned off the area but all they found were two little coyotes, which they had to let go because they had no federal trapping permit.

Moline city mayor Lawrence Vaughn urges people who live by parks and woods to stay indoors at night and remain calm. "Chaos will erupt if everyone with a gun or a two-iron starts hunting these wolves". In a moving statement Moline Police Chief Marlin Brody said, "If we could just get a glimpse of one, we could possibly contain them".

Qwent, who also attended the council meeting, has already offered his services to rid the city of wolves for the price of $7,000.00. "You won't find your wolf evidence", warned Qwent, "they're too smart for that. They'll lie low in the day time and they'll hunt at night.. You won't see them until it's too late". City administrators are considering the proposal.

By coincidence a few years ago there were several cougar sightings in the 7th Street area of Moline. There were no reports of any cougar attacks at the time but a cat and a dog and a white pet goose were reported missing.

According to Matthew Hooper, a natural biologist at Upsallala University, gray wolves are typically found in northern Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan. Cougars are typically found in Colorado, Wyoming, Utah and other Rocky Mountain states.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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