House Republicans to Propose a Conceal and Carry Law for Inside the Capitol

Written by Matt Birkenhauer

Saturday, 3 August 2013

image for House Republicans to Propose a Conceal and Carry Law for Inside the Capitol

With Congress's approval rating now lower than that of a cockroach (at about 9%), and with Republican House members' approval even lower (approaching that of a maggot), GOP lawmakers in the House have decided to pass a Conceal and Carry Law that would specifically allow them to arm themselves inside the Capitol. The bill is intended to protect House members against an irate public that increasingly views them as a bunch of, as one Washington, D. C. resident put it, "obstructionist assholes."

Explained Rep. Steve King, who proposed the bill, "Look: We're scared. These people really despise us! The Second Amendment guarantees us the right to protect ourselves against the public we are committed to serve." Another member of the GOP House, Sam Derringer, put it this way: "If the public we serve is going to unfairly profile us as a bunch of cockroaches and maggots, we have to protect ourselves, so we can continue to obstruct the people's business. But I have to run now, to try to repeal Obamacare for the 400th time."

One Democratic member of the House normally opposed to Conceal and Carry laws is backing the bill, arguing, "If this Bill allows my fellow House Republicans to continue to shoot themselves in the foot, I'm all for it!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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