NSA has sleepwalked into a First Amendment nightmare

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 11 July 2013

image for NSA has sleepwalked into a First Amendment nightmare
Recordings of somnambilists' ankle bracelet signals are at stake

Washington DC - Lawyers acting for the Nebraska Somnambulists Association [NSA] are insisting that surveillance of the group's members on spurious First Amendment get-out clauses threatens the very essence of the United States Constitution.

The Association has filed a Supreme Court test case amid allegations it has walked into a First Amendment nightmare over its dealings with the US Diabolical Liberties Union.

And other quasi-governmental cabals.

Depositions seen by QM-NewsCorpse paralegals claim CIA whistleblower Edward Snowden was a fully-paid up member of the USDLU until the NSA outed him as a recovering sleepwalker who downloaded masses of classified intelligence data while in a deep somnambulistic trance.

The case also aims to test the State's right to keep tabs on electronic metadata, a name made up by wiseguy pen-pushers to describe massive record keeping of individuals' private stuff.

This metadata apparently includes recordings of electronic ankle tag signals from bracelets worn by NSA members which record all their nocturnal ramblings - day and night.

Commenting on the latest developments hotshot downtown litigation attorney Luke B Sleepwalker said 'WTF?' tonight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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