Arizona's Prisons Are Overcrowded - Sheriff Joe Arpaio Says He Has A Damn Good Plan

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 5 July 2013

image for Arizona's Prisons Are Overcrowded - Sheriff Joe Arpaio Says He Has A Damn Good Plan
Sheriff Arpaio says he has the prison overcrowding situation figured out. (Photo courtesy of Governor Jan Brewer).

MESA, Arizona - Maricopa County Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio is the self-proclaimed toughest sheriff in the entire United States including Alaska.

The 81-year-old lawman is noted for making his prisoners dress up in pink jumpsuits, pink socks, pink flip flops, and pink boxer shorts.

He insists that this makes the prisoners never want to come back to his prisons again since they don't want to look like Richard Simmons.

Prisoners from other U.S. prisons refer to inmates incarcerated in Arizona as the Pink Panthers.

Sheriff Arpaio recently sat down and talked to Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Bar Magazine. The two had double meat cheeseburgers at a local Burger Bandit.

Pinky hesitated to say it, but he told Petaluma that the border fence is just not working. He said that last week one of his deputies caught a six-year-old boy and a five-year-old girl climbing over the fence as if it was half a foot tall.

He pointed out that both kids were handcuffed, arrested and placed in the Pancho Villa Juvenile Detention Center in Mesa.

Arpaio said that the Arizona prisons are so overcrowded that he is having to place up to 9 convicts in a cell made for 2.

He revealed to Petaluma that he has come up with a plan that will take care of the overcrowding situation.

The octogenarian said that what he is planning on doing, and he stressed that it is perfectly legal and he does have the approval of Governor Jan Brewer, is that he will instruct his deputies that at midnight on July 13, he will have a total of 17,000 inmates put in buses and they will be transported to the neighboring states of California, Nevada, Utah, and New Mexico.

SIDENOTE: Sheriff Arpaio was asked if he had ever done this before. He replied that he had. He remarked that back in December of last year he bused 319 prisoners up to Wyoming and released them in Yellowstone National Park.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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