Kansas Tiger Found in Circus Restroom: First Interview

Written by Gail Farrelly

Friday, 26 April 2013

image for Kansas Tiger Found in Circus Restroom: First Interview
She had to fix her face.

A Spoof reporter skilled in tiger talk dug up the story behind the story.

The tiger has no idea why everyone was so excited. "Good grief, I just went in to take care of business; isn't that what everyone goes to the restroom for?" the tiger said, continuing, "Then I was giving my whiskers a comb and getting ready to check my mascara, when a bunch of handlers arrived to haul me back to my cage. Sheesh! Talk about overkill!"

The tiger was annoyed at being captured so soon, as her plans for the evening were foiled. She was hoping to find a jazz club where The Tiger Rag was being played, where she could, in her own words, "Y'know shake a leg or two -- or maybe even three or four." And then the next day's planned agenda was scotched too. As she's a great fan of baseball, she had been looking forward to traveling to Detroit to see the Detroit Tigers in action. Ever the optimist, the tiger reported, "This stuff isn't canceled; it's just postponed."

Asked about the most annoying comment a human had ever made about her species, the tiger said, "No contest. It was when All Capone said, Now I know why tigers eat their young."

Pondering Capone's comment, the tiger nodded her huge head back and forth a few times and gave out with a few tsks, tsks. "Talk about the pot calling the kettle black," she said, as she ended the interview and sauntered away.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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