Trans Samoan Airways To Charge Passengers By The Pound

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

image for Trans Samoan Airways To Charge Passengers By The Pound
A Trans Samoan Airways jet getting ready to land in San Francisco.

SAN FRANCISCO - Word filtering out of Apia, Samoa is that the nation's airline Trans Samoan Airways has just implemented a new ticket pricing system.

Uplulino "Timmy" Gabanua spokesman for the airline stated that after an eight month study the airline company has decided to start charging passengers by the pound.

Gabanua stated that Trans Samoan Airways prides itself in being a leader in air travel innovations.

He boasted that TSA was the first airline in the world to serve its passengers roasted pig sandwiches which were actually barbecued on the plane.

Another innovation from the tiny airline company is the Empty First Class Seats Raffle. He explained that once the plane is ready to taxi onto the runway, any first class seats that are not filled will be raffled off to those passengers in the coach section.

The lucky winner or winners whose ticket number is chosen will get to step up to first class at no additional charge.

The lucky winner or winners will also receive a complimentary Trans Samoan Airways Rocks T-shirt.

Regarding the new ticket pricing based on weight, Mr. Gabanua stated that all Trans Samoan Airways flights will originate in Apia, Samoa and terminate in San Francisco.

The prices will be based at the rate of $25 per pound. So for example a man who weighs 180 pounds would pay $4,500 for his ticket. A woman who only weighs 130 pounds would pay $3,250. And the ticket price for an overweight man or woman who weights 320 would be $8,000.

SIDENOTE: Trans Samoan Airways stated that they had to implement this new ticket pricing because it is no secret that overweight people eat more on-board pretzels, breathe extra air, and result in the plane having to use up much more fuel.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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