With Defense Cuts Looming, Congress Considers Declaring War on Canada Because "It's Closer Than Afghanistan."

Funny story written by Ducksley

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

image for With Defense Cuts Looming, Congress Considers Declaring War on Canada Because "It's Closer Than Afghanistan."

With just two days remaining before $85 billion is cut from the federal budget, members of Congress said today they're introducing measures to lessen the impacts of the sequester.

According to Rep. Rigley Higspirt, one proposal being discussed is to declare war on Canada.

"That 's a big money saver because Canada is a lot closer than Afghanistan," he said. "Hell, our soldiers wouldn't even have to live on a base. They could just live at home and ride a bus or train to the border--think of the jet fuel that will save."

In addition, because government food inspectors would be furloughed, a second measure under consideration would require cows, pigs and chickens to inspect themselves.

"Pigs are smart," said Higspirt. "I wonder if they could inspect the cows and chickens," he said, thinking aloud.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more