Terrorists Against Drone Attacks (TADA) To March On Washington

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

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Drone Attack

BILLINGSGATE POST - Tired of having their leaders taken out by drones, a lower echelon al-Qaeda spokesman said that its terrorist branch in the USA plans to march on Washington as soon as they receive a waiver from being attacked by drones while assembling.

In an interview on Al-Jazeera, Mohammed Mohammud Muhammed said al-Qaeda yearns for the "good old days" where waterboarding was the norm and rendition was an acceptable solution for captured terrorists. Comparing George W. Bush with President Obama, he described former President Bush as a man of compassion and Obama a robotic dragon slayer.

Ironically, while a candidate, Obama opposed the use of "enhanced interrogation techniques," which he called torture. Last Tuesday, NBC released a confidential Department of Justice paper concluding that our government can authorize the use of drones to kill targeted terrorist leaders, including U.S. citizens abroad.

Under Obama, The New York Times reports, American drone attacks have killed at least 24 people in Yemen in this year alone. In 2011, a drone strike in that country killed three Americans, al-Qaeda operative Anwar al-Awlaki, his son and radical cleric Samir Khan. In a posthumous interview, they all said that they would have preferred to be waterboarded, calling being struck down by a silent missile, "barbaric."

As testimony to the advantages of being waterboarded, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, who reportedly was subjected to this enhanced interrogation method 183 times, says "life is good," even while behind bars.

FOOTNOTE: In a recent polling of 2500 deceased drone attackees by Al-Jazeera, 97 percent said that they would rather have been waterboarded than killed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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