Drones Set To Fly Over All US Public Schools

Funny story written by DP Whitehead

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

image for Drones Set To Fly Over All US Public Schools
Kids Skipping School - Unacceptable

The White House has announced plans that will see Drones circling the skies above American schools in an attempt to deter not only crazed psychotic gunmen and kidnappers from harming children but to also prevent truancy.

A Justice Department official, though, told gathered press there are at least three conditions that have to be met in order for a drone strike to be ordered -- there has to be an "imminent" threat to children, the target has to have engaged in suspicious activity near school property, and the target has to be unable to produce a hall pass, doctors note or note from his or her parents excusing school.

Separately, Attorney General Eric Holder said Tuesday that the government is "confident that we're doing all we can to protect school children."

Under President Obama, the U.S. drone program within the United States has increased dramatically since the George W. Bush administration. It has become one of the most important tools in the administration's crime crackdown -- particularly in Florida, where earlier this week several seniors were identified and then targeted by drone strikes for failing to return shopping carts to the correct location, leaving them strewn all over the parking lot, and preventing people like me from getting parking spaces near the mall entrance.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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