Trump: I have new evidence in JonBenet Ramsey case.

Funny story written by John_L

Wednesday, 30 January 2013


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image for Trump: I have new evidence in JonBenet Ramsey case.
Donald Trump's closet.

Donald Trump today made an astonishing claim today that President Barack Obama was behind the murder of child beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey in 1991.

Trump who has spent most of the last five years attempting to prove that Obama was born in Kenya said that he had evidence that JonBenet had a copy of Obama's real birth certificate and was preparing to use it to scupper Obama's run for office in Chicago.

"I ran pageants that JonBenet was a part of." Trump said "I would encourage the participants to get involved in politics, and JonBenet was at the forefront of that. She contacted me just before she was killed to say she had discovered something about one of the candidates in a minor election in Chicago. She said she would had this over if I could guarantee that when she hit 18 she would win 'Miss World'. Before I could make the deal JonBenet died."

Trump continued "I am now sure that JonBenet had a copy of Obama's birth certificate and that is why she died."

A spokesman for the President said "Donald has a history of these claims. He seems to think that the more bizarre the claim the more people will believe what he has to say. In the same way that more bizarre his hair is the more convinced he is that people will not think that he is bald. The President did present a copy of his birth certificate when he first ran in Chicago. The same birth certificate from Hawaii that he released to the public three years ago."

Donald Trump will appear on every talk show he can to promote this theory and his new range of ties.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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