Newt Gingrich: Obama Will Kick Romney's...Hairdo

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 3 November 2012

image for Newt Gingrich: Obama Will Kick Romney's...Hairdo
Newt "Captain Kangaroo" Gingrich is no fan of Mitt "Big Bird" Romney.

ST. BARTS, West Indies - Former speaker of the house Newt Gingrich and third wife Callista were down in the Caribbean relaxing and getting away from the tons and tons of political campaign ads.

According to a highly placed source with Gingrich's political team he accidentally sent out a political email pertaining to the presidential election which was quite unfavorable to Mitt Romney.

The Political Drive Thru News Agency said the email was sent out to a little over 891,300 registered GOP voters including Mitt Romney.

The amazing piece of email stated quite clearly that Gingrich, 69, has no doubt whatsoever that President Obama is going to kick Romney's...hairdo.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I saw a copy of the email and it did not mention the word hairdo, but I figured that the word hairdo would not sound as bad as the three-letter word that Gingrich really used which was 'ass.'"]

The email pointed out that Gingrich had personally spoken off-the-record to lots of his millionaire friends and that out of 17, who are worth over $25 million each, 13 said that they are not going to vote for Romney.

Gingrich explained the reason as having to do with Romney commenting during his debates that he is going to tax the rich at the same percentage point rate that he will tax the middle class and the poor.

That statement caused quite an uproar in the multi-millionaires' club who are known to be the greediest humans on the face of the planet and who utterly hate to be compared to members of the middle class and of course to America's poor.

One multi-millionaire, who was not afraid to give his name, is Mortimer F. Mannapiller, III, of Brooklyn, who made his millions through loan agencies that lent out money to the middle class and the poor at the exorbitant interest rate of 29 percent.

He commented that if Romney is not going to look out for his fellow filthy rich Republicans then he is going to ask that Mitt Romney return the $200,000 contribution he generously made to his presidential campaign.

Mannapiller, who is one hell of a businessman, added that he will insist that Romney pay him the $200,000 plus 29 percent interest.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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