Charles Manson Explains Why He'd Vote For Romney (If He Could Vote)

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 2 November 2012

image for Charles Manson Explains Why He'd Vote For Romney (If He Could Vote)
Charles Manson's jail cell (R) at Corcoran State Prison. (Photo taken by Tequila Tallyho).

CORCORAN, California - The most infamous inmate in the history of Corcoran State Prison, Charles Manson, has been denied parole for the 12th time.

Manson, who is now 77, was convicted for his role in the Sharon Tate murders of 1969.

He was recently interviewed in his jail cell by Tequila Tallyho with Left Coast Mirror Magazine.

Charles was asked if he keeps up with current affairs. He responded by asking, "Is Gabourey Sidibe fat?" "Is Oprah Winfrey black?" and "Is Paul Ryan a goofy looking little dude?"

Miss Tallyho responded by saying, "Yes, yes, and [GIGGLING] yes."

He said he was glad that a California team, the San Francisco Giants, had won the baseball World Series.

He remarked that he is amazed that after 50 years Mickey Jagger and the Rolling Stones are still rocking and rolling like they did when they were in their 20s.

Manson then said that he thinks that Lindsay Lohan is one of the sexiest women in the entire universe, even though she has about 1.7 million freckles.

Miss Tallyho asked him what the thought about politics. He grinned and said that politics is what got him incarcerated.

He was informed that politics had nothing to do with it.

Charles, or Charlie as Kanye West calls him, responded by saying that every politician is the same and they will all promise you the moon and then maybe, maybe deliver you Yuma, Arizona.

Tallyho asked him if he would vote for President Obama or for Mitt Romney in the presidential election.

Manson perked up. He put down his 12-string guitar and baloney on rye sandwich and said that he would vote for Mitt "The Flip-Flopper" Romney assuming he could vote.

When asked to explain he rolled his eyes and said that he feels like Mitt and him could be soul mates. He said that they both have the gift of gab and both are excellent BSers.

Manson then picked up his guitar and began strumming it. He then sang a verse to a song he had just written about Romney the night before.

I like Mitt Romney
even tough he's a Mormon.
But that Little Bunny Foo Foo fella
ain't worth squirrel spit.

Miss Tallyho looked puzzled and pointed out that his verse did not rhyme.

Charles Manson paused for a moment and laughed as he scratched his neck. He then winked and commented, "Miss Tequila, you're mistaken because it does rhyme. In my chicken fried, warped-as-hell mind believe me, it-does-rhyme."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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