'We be the Hookers' Zumba studio busted in Maine

Funny story written by Francois Dubois, S.J.

Wednesday, 10 October 2012


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for 'We be the Hookers' Zumba studio busted in Maine
"I was never involved in Zumba," says Dubya.

KENNEBUNK, MAINE (ABSNN) - "They were doing more than Zumba out of that 'dance studio,' let me tell ya," said Kennebunk Police Chief George H. W. P. Bush.

"They was selling nookie," the chief told reporters.

Police raided Purda Vida Fitness Center and arrested the owners, 29-year-old Alexis Wright and her partner, 57-year-old Mark Strong Sr.

The pair were charged with 106 counts of prostitution, violation of privacy, tax evasion and other charges for allegedly providing sex for money at her fitness studio and a nearby one-room office the two rented.

Prosecutors claim they have thousands of hours of video and more than ten thousand photographs ranging from customers who "paid for pussy," to "customers having sex with the string of prostitutes who operated out of the whorehouse."

"They got nothing on our clients," said attorneys for the accused madam and her man.

Residents of this upscale New England town are "flummoxed, absolutely flummoxed," by the arrests.

"Seems to me everybody but me got laid," said former President George Herbert Walker Bush.

"But it's OK, Dubya wasn't one of them, for once in his life," he said.

The Kennebunk School Board issued instructions to all teachers to "be aware some of our parents are caught up in the sting. Make sure they (who exactly) aren't bullied."

Prosecutors say that more than 4,000 residents were "Zumbaed." during the month's long investigation.

theSpoof.com will keep you informed of all Zumba related developments in this case.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more