Wednesday, 10 October 2012

image for 'We be the Hookers' Zumba studio busted in Maine
"I was never involved in Zumba," says Dubya.

KENNEBUNK, MAINE (ABSNN) - "They were doing more than Zumba out of that 'dance studio,' let me tell ya," said Kennebunk Police Chief George H. W. P. Bush.

"They was selling nookie," the chief told reporters.

Police raided Purda Vida Fitness Center and arrested the owners, 29-year-old Alexis Wright and her partner, 57-year-old Mark Strong Sr.

The pair were charged with 106 counts of prostitution, violation of privacy, tax evasion and other charges for allegedly providing sex for money at her fitness studio and a nearby one-room office the two rented.

Prosecutors claim they have thousands of hours of video and more than ten thousand photographs ranging from customers who "paid for pussy," to "customers having sex with the string of prostitutes who operated out of the whorehouse."

"They got nothing on our clients," said attorneys for the accused madam and her man.

Residents of this upscale New England town are "flummoxed, absolutely flummoxed," by the arrests.

"Seems to me everybody but me got laid," said former President George Herbert Walker Bush.

"But it's OK, Dubya wasn't one of them, for once in his life," he said.

The Kennebunk School Board issued instructions to all teachers to "be aware some of our parents are caught up in the sting. Make sure they (who exactly) aren't bullied."

Prosecutors say that more than 4,000 residents were "Zumbaed." during the month's long investigation. will keep you informed of all Zumba related developments in this case.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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