Recession Caused by Vengeful Deity

Written by Rory

Sunday, 8 July 2012

image for Recession Caused by Vengeful Deity
Critics agree Zeus would be the least desirable god to have displeased

According to a startling new discovery by a joint co-operative research team consisting of economists and scientists from both MIT and the London School of Economics, the current recession was in fact caused by an incensed and indignant supreme, omniscient being.

"We were running our usual tests and computer based simulations and then out of nowhere we discovered that the economic downturn was actually an act of God," states economist Harold Beller, a fellow at the London School. "We were pretty shocked, it was difficult to believe at first."

The conclusion has been verified and confirmed by several third party organisations, such as those funded by the Christian Alliance and The Nation of Islam and an independent study group of scientists at CERN, lending some credence to the bizarre findings.

"The evidence is undeniable," claims CERN's Dr Angelo Bastianelli. "I mean, I'm an atheist but I'm really going to have to give the whole religion business another look now."

Unfortunately, no one involved has been able to find out which deity in particular is responsible for the market collapse or why.

"It would be easy if we could just take the Abrahamic religions into account, because they have just one God each, apart from the whole Holy Trinity aspect of Catholicism, and they're more or less the same God, but with Hindiusm thrown into the mix, it's anyone's guess. There's hundreds if not thousands of them, and it'd be nightmare trying to figure out what would piss each of them off enough to cause a recession," complained MIT scientist Dr. Mark Goodwin. "And we're not even sure what Buddhism is really about and whether or not it can be held accountable."

In related news, a joint co-operative research team consisting of economists and scientists from both MIT and the London School of Economics has inadvertently proved the existence of an as yet undetermined God.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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