Lindsay Lohan Exchanged Nude "Full Frontals" With Bin Laden: Helped Set Up Raid

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

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BILLINGSGATE POST - Robert Gates, the former defense secretary, reportedly blasted the national security team in the Obama White House for blabbing about Lindsay Lohan's role in the raid to kill Osama bin Laden.

In an interview with Barbara Walters, Gates was so upset with Obama's national security advisor, Tom Donilon, for revealing that Lindsay Lohan played a role in the raid that killed Osama bin Laden that he suggested a new strategic communication approach to Donilon. "What's was that, Donilon asked?" In his trademark droll tones, according to an account later provided by his colleagues, Gates said, "Shut the f..k up!"

According to a book by New York Times reporter David Sanger, Osama bin Laden was "enraptured" by the Hollywood accounts of bad girl Lindsay Lohan. CIA contacts confirmed this and requested that Lindsay provide a full frontal nude picture of herself that be delivered to bin Laden through his personal courier. Usually circumspect in his dealings with the outside world, Osama reportedly was so excited by this picture that he returned the favor by sending back an autographed photo of his own frontal equipment.

Having finally establishing that Osama bin Laden was in the compound, President Obama gave final approval for the Special Operation Team to snuff out the most wanted man on the face of the earth.

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