Senate Promises Crackdown on Leaks

Funny story written by Dan Cun

Friday, 8 June 2012

image for Senate Promises Crackdown on Leaks
An Avergare Politician Spends To Long Holding His...Well, You Know

Leaders of the Senate and House intelligence committees said Thursday they were drafting legislation to further limit who can access bathrooms, toilets, WCs, lavatories…call them what you will…..after a serious of high profile leaks have Americans asking…just how much time do our leaders, politicians and government officials spend peeing?

The head of the House intelligence committee said he will investigate recent leaks, saying that according to his own personal manifest, a man should not spend more than 4 minutes a day urinating, a woman slightly longer, dependant on girth, but the CIA and the Justice Department national security division said they would not cooperate.

"There has been just a cascade of leaks coming out of the intelligence community in the last several weeks and months," the vice chairman of the Senate intelligence committee, Republican Sen. Saxby Chambliss told reporters. "It's our clear intention to put a stop to this. They need to hold it in!"

The bipartisan news conference of the four top lawmakers was spurred by a series of media reports detailing everything from White House bathroom policy on the highly classified targeting of the bowl, to the amount of time members of congress spend on toilet breaks.

One problem could be too many water coolers located in Federal buildings while another could be the lack of prostate checks, either way, the government is spending your $$$$'s in fixing these leaks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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