Zombieland: Ichabod Rondo Faces the Walking Dead

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Saturday, 19 May 2012

In old fashioned Freudian terms, the Boston Celtics are a bunch of masochists. They love to inflict pain on themselves-and the collateral target: their fans are incidental victims.

Wasn't it Oscar Wilde who reminded us that every man kills the thing he loves? The Celtics killed another victory in Game 4.

A coward does it with a word, and a brave man does it with a sword. In this case, the Celtics killed victory without a word to the wise.

The 's' word in the fourth playoff game of the series was "sado-masochistic." The Walking Dead were scary to behold, resisting the final solution and chasing the Celtics all the way back to Boston.

No team can serve two masters (defense and offense), and do justice to both. The Celtics fired their big guns, but the zombies kept coming.

Rondo and the Celtics have just regenerated another zombie team that is now running amok in the playoffs.

Zombies from Philly dashed about the court like headless creatures chasing Ichabod Crane.

We kept waiting for each Sixer to throw his pumpkin head at Rajon Rondo to watch the point guard scramble in six directions.

Avery Bradley looked like a pinball bouncing off the Phillly Sixers. Once bitten, his shoulder seemed ready to fall off.

As in a typical George Romero movie, the game started out with Celtics shooting zombies in a variety of ways, taking a lead and knocking over the Walking Dead with aplomb and amusement.

When the task became tiresome, the zombies knew they had worn down the Celtics. It was a matter of time before the flesh-chompers overran the arrogant Celtics and took a deadly bite out of the heart of the Celtics.

The Green team will soon see daylight again in Boston, but the night will again follow unless they can learn how to play against zombies.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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