A leaked White House document has revealed that President Obama is so concerned about his flagging support he ordered the elite Navy Seals to kill Osama Bin Laden again in an attempt to boost his popularity prior to the upcoming Presidential election.
The mission, which was codenamed 'Operation You Only Die Twice', was the brainchild of the President himself.
The leaked document claims that most Americans have either forgotten Bin Laden is already dead or don't believe he was killed in the first place, so killing him again would not seem suspicious in any way.
A White House insider, who wishes to remain anonymous, said, "On the face of it, it looks ridiculous. Probably because it is. Even Sarah 'Crazy Lady' Palin wouldn't of come up with such an idiotic plan. Anyway, now it's been leaked it's all academic. The mission has been shelved. Along with most of the President's advisors, I tried to convice him it was a disastrous plan but he wouldn't listen. I'm pleased it's been leaked. I don't know how he'll explain this one away. My advice will be to blame former President Bush. Mind you, that's my default setting when it comes to deflecting attention away from the President's mistakes."
GOP Presidential candidate, Mitt 'I love my dog' Romney, says that President Obama is becoming a laughing stock. He said, "This hair-brained idea is typical of the contempt he continues to show towards the American people. I am delighted that it has been leaked as it shows the outrageous lengths President Obama will go to in his attempts to secure a second term."
A few minutes later, Governor Romney called us back to clarify his position. Speaking in French for no apparent reason, through an interpreter he said, "I have changed my mind."
After pausing for a moment, in true Romney style, he added, "Or maybe I haven't. I can't decide."
