US Lottery Winner Vows to Squander Windfall

Funny story written by Christamar Varicella

Saturday, 7 April 2012

The anonymous Kansan who recently stepped forward to collect a check for $218 million acknowledged today that all of the money would be gone within a year.

"I've got big plans for that money. I'm gonna rent me some diamond furniture, invest in the business schemes of my relatives, and customize a giant monster truck made from smaller monster trucks."

When asked if he planned on saving any of his winnings, the man, who has officially changed his name to Joe Richbitch, dismissed the suggestion. "Oh, I've got an even better idea. I'm gonna take half the money and use it to buy more lottery tickets. I'll be a ka-billionaire in no time." When told there was no such thing as a ka-billionaire, Mr. Richbitch appeared not to understand. This reporter then proceeded to sell him his imitation Timex watch for ten thousand dollars.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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