£101m lottery winners announce they are buying Greece

Written by Steddyeddy

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

image for £101m lottery winners announce they are buying Greece
A lone lottery ball

The latest winners of a hugely obscene amount of money, a couple from Cambridgeshire, have announced that after they have paid their bills, bought a new house, a new car and a more up-to-date mp3 player, they are going to buy Greece. After they have been down to the local for a drink of course.

Winner Dave Dawes, who is the brother of George Dawes, the drummer on TV comedy quiz show "Shooting Stars" said he was fed up with people chasing him for money and asking all his neighbours "What is the score on the Dawes". He said he felt like a quiz show contestant.
Dave's partner Angela said that "Who knows, we might even celebrate at the pub by asking for glasses for our bottles of beer".

Mr Dawes is flying out to Greece tomorrow on a privately chartered RyanAir jet. He said he had chartered the jet from RyanAir just to avoid paying all the invisible excess fees that pop up when you pay for your ticket, as he wasn't too sure that the remainder of his lottery win would actually cover them.

He will be holding a conference with Greek President, Constantin Breakingplates and is expected to make a cash offer of somewhere between nine quid and £12 million for the country, although he has insisted that all the old and decrepit buildings such as the Acropolis and the Parthenon are knocked down before he takes over.

He said that there is no point in all those building wrecks ruining the skyline for tourists and threatening booze cruises and stag nights.

When asked about the begging letters now they had won this fortune, Mrs Dawes said they would still be sending them out to family, friends and the list on the disk from DWP that Mr Dawes found on a train last year.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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