Mayans Predict Tim Tebow Will Not Transform Jets To Playoffs

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 23 March 2012

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Jets Fail Again

BILLINGSGATE POST - December 21, 2012 concludes the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar. Unfortunately for the New York Jets, the 2012 NFL regular season ends on Sunday, December 30. In other words, the Jets will not make it to the playoffs again this year, despite the fact that Tim Tebow was acquired from the Denver Broncos to help them reach this goal.

Not since Joe Namath joined the Jets back in 1965, while they were a member of the American Football League, have fans of Gotham City had such glorious expectations of beating their hated rivals from New England for the division title. Ironically, even if they win the title this season, they will not make it to the playoffs.

Alas, the 2012 phenomenon that precludes the Jets from ever reaching the Superbowl again is a catclysmic event that will transform this season of expectation into just another failed opportunity; the end of the world on December 21. Even the miraculous intervention of Tim Tebow cannot change this fact. Historically, no NFL team has ever reached the playoffs after time has run out on the world.

Eschatologically speaking, the Mayans believe that December 21, 2012 is the end-date of of a 5125 year-long cycle. Various astronomical alignments and numerological formulae have been used by scholars of this ancient civilization to arrive at this doomsday prediction.

Although some scholars and astronomers have rejected the prediction as pseudoscience, Las Vegas bookies largely agree with the Mayans: The early book on the New York Jets reaching the playoffs is 7-1 against.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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