In one of the most astonishing sports and religious developments in recent memory, Tim Tebow has jettisoned Christianity for Judaism and signed with the New York Jets so he can play before large numbers of his own new faith.
Tebow disclosed he switched religions last fall after praying to Jesus on behalf of a crucial Hail Mary pass that was dropped. "There's no doubt Christ left me in the lurch. That very night I saw the faces of a number of top-rank First Testament Jews in my pepperoni pizza, and decided it was a secret Talmudic message that I was a Jew."
The Jets say Tebow is the first Jewish quarterback they ever had. The only other Jewish quarterback in the NFL is Sage Rosenfels of the Miami Dolphins. Said Rosenfels: "This guy's not a real Jew, just a pretender. Next week, he'll probably see that dead Scientologist in his pizza. Besides, I saw Tebow in the shower one time and he didn't look Jewish to me.