Tebow Joins Sanchez as Prisoners of Second Avenue

Written by Ossurworld

Thursday, 22 March 2012

Tebow Joins Sanchez as Prisoners of Second Avenue

Tim Tebow will be heading for that Den of Iniquity that represents New York City, but plays in New Jersey. Yes, the Jets with loudmouth Tyrannosaurus Rex Ryan signed the Christian spokesman and QB to help them eat, pray, love. Has Jurassic Park met the Bible Belt?

The upcoming season will have all the carnival flavor not seen since Nero threw Christians to the lions.

In Ancient Rome, which bears some parallels to modern Big Appletown, Christians were the favored object of sports derision at the Colosseum. When they weren't being trampled by chariots, they were being carved up by gladiators. Tebow, take note; you don't want to be the Fail-Safe plan.

Mark Sanchez may take some comfort that the New York media and its deranged fandom will be caught between a rock and a hard place when it comes to cascading the QB with bric-a-brac. Has anyone told Tim that The World, The Flesh, and The Devil was filmed in New York?

Fans are stuck with a Hobson's Choice, not to be confused with a busman's holiday, in the City that features 1000 crimes each night. If you put Sanchez and/or Tebow on the field, you have no choice left. This could be worse than a Troll in Central Park, which was a low for the City.

No, fans, the choice of QB will not be Hobson-but Tebow and Sanchez could look like the Honeymooners, with everyone ready to send them to the Moon.

Pick your poison: Sanchez or Tebow. We suspect that the New York Jet fans are already choking on their own vomit (be it ever so fitting).

With the signing of Tebow, we suspect that by season's end it will be Rex Ryan Himself who shall suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Cheer up, Jets fans. You soon will see two quarterbacks at the same time on the same field, each tossing the ball to the other. If you like option plays, you may find yourself with no options left.

If you liked Slaughter on Tenth Avenue or even Midnight Cowboy, you will find the next stop at the Meadowlands and better than the next stop at Greenwich Village-but not as risky as a Bronx tale.

The Muppets did take Manhattan, but will either Tebow or Sanchez turn out to be Spike of Bensonhurst?

Will there be another Miracle on 34th Street, or will it be another broken leg on 42nd Street? We hope somebody up there likes Tim Tebow.

As for us, we plan to take Pelham 1-2-3 out of town as fast as we can.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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