Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Says He Would Love To See Tim Tebow In A Cowboys Uniform

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

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With Peyton Manning in as the new Denver Broncos quarterback, Tim Tebow may be leaving the Rocky Mountain state.

DENVER - Well now that all of the carnival-like antics and circus atmosphere of The Peyton Manning Free-For-All Fracas Show is over and he has signed with the Denver Broncos the lingering question is now, "What will become of Denver quarterback sensation Tim Tebow?"

Tebow, who is one of the classiest players in the entire NFL, has pretty much been stabbed in the back as noted by Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine.

Never in the history of the NFL has a quarterback played with more desire, drive, determination, and dedication than Tim Tebow did this past year.

He helped bring in the fans who loved his hard-playing, fearless attitude. As long time Broncos fan Chambliss "Snowballs" Basketfeather, 73, noted, "Tebow would drop back to pass and if no one was open then no problem, he would just simply turn into a 6-foot-3-inch, 240 pound fullback and run the ball as if he had been doing that since his high school days."

But Denver Executive Vice-President John "Huh?" Elway apparently saw it differently. He has instead chosen to give a 5-year, $95 million contract to a quarterback who has already played for 14 years and who has had three surgeries.

Elway by signing Peyton Manning to be the new Denver Broncos starting quarterback will now sit in his luxury box and cringe every time that an opposing pass rusher gets within two feet of his new very expensive "QB."

Even the Las Vegas oddsmakers are saying that it is not likely that Manning will play for very long. And it is not that they are being disrespectful or that they are questioning his ability - it is just that they know that 1 plus 1 equals 2.

They know that Peyton Manning, instead of retiring with all of his fabulous records and memories, could very possibly end up in a walker or worse and for what?

As Sherwood Frisbee with Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly pointed out, exactly how much money, fame, and adulation does one person really need?

Frisbee noted that Dallas Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman decided to retire after he was told that one more hit resulting in a concussion could turn him into a radish or even worse a rutabaga.

So now 660 miles southeast of Denver, in Dallas Texas, Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys is grinning from ear-to-ear and has made it crystal clear that he would love to see Tim Tebow in a Cowboys uniform.

It is no secret that Jones wants to return to the days of greatness B.R. (Before Romo). Jones knows that Tony tries but he just does not seem to have what it takes to be a consistent winning NFL quarterback.

And it is no secret to any fan who truly knows the game that the Cowboy defensive cornerbacks (especially one Terence Newman) couldn't even out run Betty White or Cloris Leachman much less defend them.

Jones has told several members of the sports media that he wants Tim Tebow.

The Cowboys owner has no doubt in him mind that Tebow will provide the much needed spark to light the Cowboys fire that will turn them into a consistently winning championship team once again.

An unnamed, inside source admitted that Jerry Jones visited Lake Charles, Louisiana a few days ago and had a very productive meeting with the nation's foremost voodoo woman Lottie Jo Lafayette.

In late breaking news. GOP presidential hopeful Ron Paul has stated to 'GOPicky Magazine' that if he is elected president he will immediately get all of the U.S. troops out of Afghanistan and station them in Detroit where they are badly needed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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