Republicans To Ban Educated Candidates

Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Friday, 27 January 2012

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In a move guaranteed to delight the liberal left, the GOP is to ban anyone with an education from entering future races to win the Republican presidential nomination.

The decision has been welcomed by factions on the hard right and within the loose-knit Tea Party.

Party chiefs were horrified by the reaction when John Huntsman spoke Mandarin during a debate and later when Newt Gingrich attacked Mitt Romney for speaking French.

"T'ain't right speakin' them damn commie lingoes," said one party supporter yesterday.

Experts feel Mr Gingrich may have improved his anti-intellectual bona fides still further after the anti-French attack by promising to build a US base on the Moon by 2020.

Said a GOP insider: "That's one helluva crackpot scheme, right enough. Show's he's as dumb as a dumb thing - should be great.

"From now on, we're gonna be vetting all candidates for any sign of an education or cleverness. Understanding foreign languages is gonna be a no-no - makes 'em nervous down on the farm."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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