Written by Charpa93

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

image for Mitt Romney Hands out $20 Bills to Young Black Males

Mitt Romney says the 'high' he felt by helping out a Sumter, SC woman last week by handing her a wad of cash to pay her electricity bill was exhilarating. He claimed afterwards that he couldn't describe how great it felt to give to the poor. "Who knew there was that kind of power in money?" said Romney.

It was then that Romney decided that wherever he went, he would carry a pocketful of cash and hand it out to those he felt were most needy. And so, on a sunny Monday, while the country celebrated the birthday of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., Mitt Romney hit the streets in Myrtle Beach, SC handing out $20 bills to the young black men milling about the streets.

"I figured the least I could do was buy them lunch," said Romney. "I know how hard it must be to be out of work and hungry, so I thought, hey, I know I can take care of the hungry part."

Asked if he thought it might look like a political handout to get the black vote in South Carolina, Romney poo pooed the notion. "Oh heck no, not at all. I mean, sure, those guys might be voters, I'm never sure. But, vote for me when they have Obama? Heaven's no. I know that's never gonna happen. I'm just throwing a little 'power' around," he chuckled as he hurried off to score some more happy points with a group of blacks he spotted at the bus station.

Afterwards, one of the recipients was asked how he felt about being handed money from a man who may soon be his next President. "I'm blown away, man," said Johnson Freeman. "Now I can afford to pay my kid's allowance this week." Then lightheartedly added, "But asking for a shoe shine in exchange for the Jackson? Man, that was harsh, Willard."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Mitt Romney, GOP

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
85 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more