Michele Bachmann Explains Why She Is Against Gays and Lesbians Getting Married

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 1 December 2011

image for Michele Bachmann Explains Why She Is Against Gays and Lesbians Getting Married
Michele Bachmann disproving the rumors that she has no sense of humor. (Photo by Jimmy Fallon).

DES MOINES, Iowa - Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour stopped in Des Moines, Iowa, the town known for being the birthplace of Nacho Velcro the inventor of the zipper.

The congresswoman from Minnesota's 6th district was asked by Sinclair Petaluma of Political Salad Magazine why she is so set against gays and lesbians being allowed to enter into holy matrimony.

Bachmann, flicked her hair back, rolled her eyes, and remarked, "Because once you allow gays and lesbians to marry next they'll want to have gay and lesbian pets."

Petamluma told her that it was not necessarily the case. He pointed out that Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia have pets and none of them are gay. He also brought out the fact that Elton John and his husband David have all kinds of pets and all of them are straight.

He thought about it for a while and then noted that there was a bit of a question regarding Elton and David's two male pet parrots who have been caught pecking each others beaks or peckers as they are called in parts of Ireland.

But overall Petaluma said that most research studies conclude that just because a couple is either gay or lesbian does not mean that their pets will also turn out to be gay.

Bachmann shook her head and remarked that she has her opinion and that no one is going to change it not even Ellen DeGeneres whom she said is very pretty and has the sexiest lips she has ever seen.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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