Stephen Hawking the anti Cain Predicts Armageddon

Funny story written by Karen Fish

Monday, 21 November 2011


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The world's greatest scientist Stephen Hawking said today that unless we colonize space or learn to travel in time we will soon be extinct. Stephen Hawking said: "When the American people have Herman Cain atop the polls for Commander in Chief and Leader of the Free World you know we're done. Herman Cain doesn't know where Chicago is."

Asked in Chicago where Chicago is Herman Cain said: "Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I did not have sex with those women. No matter how hard I tried, and I mean I tackled them to the ground, I just couldn't manage to get their bras undone. Of course I know where Chicago is. It's um, uh, it's, like, let me get back to you on that one."

Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner, but he knew it couldn't last. Jojo left his home in Tuscon, Arizona, for some California grass. Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged. Get back Jojo, Go home.

Planet Earth is our home. Earth was created 5 billion years ago. Judaism is a recent cult invented 4,000 years ago. Christianity is a recent cult invented 2,000 years ago. Islam is a recent cult invented 1,400 years ago. These three recent cults are now dragging us into nucular World War III, Armageddon. Interfaith Harmony, The Temple of Love - The World Peace Religion would be bad for business.

The unbelievable thing for a species that flew to the moon on the brains of men like Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking is that 2 billion Christians and 1 billion Muslims have been brainwashed into believing that the way to save the world is to blow it up in the final battle at Mount Megiddo. The Ayatollahs in Iran believe that if they can nuke life on Earth into oblivion then their Messiahs Jesus Christ and the Mahdi will come from heaven and save the world for Islam. These people make Herman Cain look like Albert Einstein.

Every religious scholar will tell you that the New Testament was begun by Greek tweeters in Greek 100 years after Jesus died and finished in 325 AD at the Council of Nicaea. The Greek Bible writers who wrote 4 times in the Holy Bible "The earth does not move and it never will" were the children and grandchildren of the Greek Myth writers.

The Greek Myth writers wrote that Prince Bellerophon got onto his flying white horse Pegasus and slayed the snake, goat, lion monster Chimera. In the book of Revelations the Greek Bible writers wrote that Prince Jesus Christ will come flying down from Heaven on his flying white horse and defeat the snake, goat, lion Beast, Devil, save the world for Christianity, and create a New Jerusalem and a new Earth.

Human beings are merrily going about destroying life on Earth in nuclear World War III on the basis of a plagiarised Greek fairy tale. This is why God put us far enough away from any other livable planet so that we could not spread our murderous insanity to the rest of the Universe. We now return to our favorite reality show, "Keeping up with the Kardashians." In the latest instalment Kris buys Kendall a new horse.

In Benin, Africa yesterday Pope Benedict XVI tried to convert Voodoo practitioners to Roman Catholicism. Pope Benedict urged the people to "resist a religion which deceives, and to uphold the Christian faith that liberates from occultism and vanquishes evil spirits." Stephen Hawking said, "Which religion was he talking about? Maybe we should try saving ourselves." It's talk like that that got Galileo imprisoned by the infallible Pope for heresy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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