With the number of reality shows on British television reaching epidemic proportions, a new comparison website has been launched to help viewers swim their way though the morass of thick wastrels taking part.
[Although bearing in mind what the Z-Celebs on "Celebrity Dead Brother" have been paid, they're probably not that thick at all.]
www.comparetheasshole.web has just been launched by a talentless woman from an equally talentless girl 'band*' (*insert Sugarbabes, Girls Aloud, Bananarama, etc as appropriate) who mimed to an excellent launch speech written by a wealthy chap with incredible teeth and a haircut (neither of which were his own) called Simon.
comparetheasshole.web is a cooperative venture aimed at helping any reality TV viewer without the IQ to cope with reading the often big words contained in the average television listings magazine - research has identified that words such as "gainful", "employment", "education" and "alarm clock" tend to bring on levels of confusion amongst reality TV viewers similar to those seen when the Jeremy Kyle television programme asks participants to speak their minds, itself recognised as a near impossible task for the average participant.
Members of the press not in attendance were invited to ring a premium rate number for further information. This was not at all connected to the wealthy chap with incredible teeth and a haircut called Simon (just to clear this up, the chap was called Simon and not the haircut).