Cops "Pissed Off" With 'Do Nothing Dave' As Government Calls In Top US Cop Bill Bratton

Written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 13 August 2011

image for Cops "Pissed Off" With 'Do Nothing Dave' As Government Calls In Top US Cop Bill Bratton
Keeping Order In New York - Despite Being Too Fucking Fat To Run Further Than Six Yards

British police officers of all ranks are reported to be seriously "pissed off" by David Cameron's decision to bring in US former New York and LA police commissioner, Bill Bratton. Who is expected to act in an advisory capacity, with regard to dealing with future outbreaks of civil disorder.

There is much frustration evident in the British police service, most of whom feel that they're damned if they do, and damned if they don't.

Cops in Manchester came under fire for hitting a rioter with batons, and kicking him, whereas cops in Ealing were criticised for their 'stand back and observe' policing policy, after the death of a man who attempted to confront looters.

Experienced riot squad officer, PC Frederick Aberlyne was scathing over Do Nothing Dave's decision to consult with Bill Bratton.

"He's having a fucking laugh isn't he?" Aberlyne scoffed. "Bratton sorted out LA and New York? Bollocks. So I suppose if you go to South Central LA you won't find crips and bloods mowing one another down? Or go to East LA, and you won't find Mexican gangs dealing out wholesale slaughter? It's only a few months ago that gangs stormed theatreland in New York's Times Square and caused absolute mayhem. There's a simple solution to all this looting and burning - just let us get on with our job and nick the little bastards. A fucking good kicking in a detention cell might not be an ideal solution, but it's a bloody good deterrent."

However, there was praise for Do Nothing Dave's prompt response to the serious disturbances that rocked the nation. This from PC George Dixon from the Met's Dock Green police station:

"Let's be perfectly clear on this. The Prime Minister's prompt response to the riots was appreciated by the lads down my nick. We all thought it was fucking amazing that he could get back home all the way from Tuscany in three days and sort things out. Evenin' all."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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