Changsha, China - A deluxe version of an inventor's motorised suitcase on wheels was launched today aimed at the lucrative international Security Services market. According to a New China Toast press release the 'Lock Up N Go' invention is the br...
Moscow - The sudden, unexpected appearance of the huge 'art installation' has sparked terror among KGB bosses after an anonymous Muscovite wag scrawled RIP Gareth Williams in bold Cyrillic script all over the scarlet Louis Vuitton portmanteau. Dec...
London - "These snooping claims are utterly baseless," the UK's top Spookmaster General said today as news of the field etching's materialization broke. "We don't need to outsource snooping on British Tea Party taxpayers to some sort of hush-hush,...
London - The former MI6 cryptographer has been identified with a sophisticated cyber worm that targeted the Iran Petroleum ministry and its oleaginous terminals. A secret report into surreptitious palm-greasing says key signatures of the W32.Flam...
Cambridge - Hawking is known to have shagged a number of trollops keen to fertilise their eggs by such a humungous genius [sic] - back in the daze when he could still get it up. The former Cambridge University Lucasian Professor of Mathematics has...
London - A senior line manager is in the frame for erasing details of a six month long fling with the dead spook 'that went down the plughole'. [The romance or the bloke? -'Ed'] Gareth Wiliams was found naked 'inside a sports bag' in what cryptolo...
London Metropolitan police have called in an expert to help solve the mystifying mystery of the mysterious death of mystery man Gareth Williams. "What we know," said Detective in Charge, DI Sue Tecase, "is that he was in a bag, dead, and worked fo...
London - Professional escapologists today queried the latest dramatic twist at an inquest into MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams' death. A former landlady testified about having to rescue the spook in an unlikely sounding solo bondage crisis wher...
London - Reports that 'they liked to share a saddle' were rubbished today before the emergence of previously unseen footage of the two men cycling near the Houses of Parliament. Following close behind is another dodgy pair, subsequently identified...
Surrey - Pratts Bottom resident and Foreign Orifice-approved cleaning woman Mrs Ida Hoover has spoken of her disgust at 'filthy' slurs blaming a covert MI6 division for the improbably immaculate state of Gareth Williams' apartment. "WTF do they me...
Dublin, Eire - Any link to a deceased British code breaker is of course extremely tenuous Gardai sources admitted today. The discovery of a woman's body stuffed inside a large wheeled travel bag in St David's Terrace, Blackhorse Avenue, Dublin 7 h...
London - Critics had already complained that the last episode's plotline was too close to the bone amid many unanswered questions about MI6 cryptographer Dr Gareth Williams' unexplained death. This morning the seventh and final Spooks offering was...
London - An MI6 codebreaker's copycat RIP fears have surfaced again with the grim discovery in some South London bushes. The find comes exactly one year after cryptographer Gareth Williams' unexplained death in a security service 'serviced' Pimlic...
London - Sim cards found in the dead code-breaker's flat are to be scanned for signs of hacking a spooks' source claimed today. Neatly laid-out on a sideboard 'in a pentagonal pattern' their discovery at the cryptographer's flat caused widespread...
London - (Spy-Who-Bagged-Me News): It's been described as identical to the custom-cut key found inside Gareth Williams' North Face zip-up holdall. The exact double of the titanium two-inch case opener has suddenly turned up in a bag of theatrical...
Holmfirth, West Yorkshire - (Emotional Baggage): Residents of a Yorkshire village where the Beeb's Last of the Summer Swine sitcom was filmed are demanding answers. Was mother-of-two Marie Stewart's body dumped in a suitcase because of sicko copyc...
New York - (Smoke N Mirrors): The North Face holdall at the core of a Houdini-like death of spy-in-the-bag codebreaker Gareth Williams has suddenly popped up in a New York insider dealing case. Former Wall Street hedge fund high flier Donald Longu...
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