London - "Don't blame this 'alien shit' for the breakdown of law and order," a Home Office spokesman snarled at crunchtime today.
The fierce rebuttal comes amid multiple sightings of a rogue spacecraft dumping over urban hotspots.
Historically it's toxic waste payload destroyed Kensington's Essex Street Chapel during a low fly-past in the summer of 1971.
Another dump over Brixton's infamous UFO rat run in 1981 saw residents 'go mental' after accidentally ingesting airborne particles.
And in 1985 the notorious Broadwater Farm Estate riots got really ugly after frozen filth vapor permeated much of North London's premier social housing experiment.
This morning there were witness reports that the same out-of-control ET craft may be dumping 'alien blue ice' over Inner City hellholes.
Tests carried out at the UK's National Poisons Unit have shown crystalline fragments turning up in riot-accused suspects' body fluids.
This may give looters a 'legitimate defence' as thousands appear on public disorder charges up and down the country.
"It's driven my client crazy, M'Lord," is how one desperate barrister described it the toxicity as his client pleaded mitigation in the looting of a 54-inch plasma screen.
Ministry of Justice lawyers are monitoring the development and the entire sordid topic of 'alien blue ice' will be part of MPs' emergency House of Commons debate tomorrow.
