Concerns Over Cameron's Riots Master Plan Remedy!

Funny story written by Tommy Twinkle

Wednesday, 10 August 2011


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All In It Together

Relative calm was restored to the streets and dark alleys of London last night following the Reichstag-like fires across the Nation's capital just twenty-four hours earlier.

Prime Minister David Cameron's made a cunning ploy to forewarn Monday night's riotous youths that he'd arranged for 16,000 police officers to 'welcome' them if they decided to try their luck again last night. His decision to announce the fact outside number 10 yesterday morning so that it could be shown repeatedly on the TV news bulletins every hour guaranteed the message reaching the ears of the youths - No doubt they heard it while watching him on giant brand new widescreen colour televisions they'd recently acquired ('free view' of course!).

The information must have reached the ears of most of them because only a very few wanted to 'come out and play'.

Many of the additional police were ordered down 'to the smoke' and smouldering embers of the ruined capital from Britain's other major cities causing many of the residents there to fear insuficient numbers remained to protect them if the problem then spread to their neck of the woods - which it did. But apart from a few buildings set ablaze the police officers remaining bravely managed to survive the night. Britain was calm-ish, rather like the calmness one finds in the eye of a hurricane!

This morning's congratulaTORY pats on the back for David Cameron some felt to be perhaps a little premature - they were no doubt wondering how long the country could afford to keep 16,000 police officers in London. Perhaps just long enough to allow Mr Cameron, and London Mayor Mr Johnson to be able to return to complete their respective holidays abroad in the sun without having to again roll up their beach towels to 'rush' back again to the UK because of those ungrateful youths of Britain.

Or perhaps the cost of having 16,000 police officers protect London - for ever - is now affordable. At last the recession is over. Perhaps the banksters have let it be known to Mr Cameron that they no longer want to be paid 120m pounds of interest every day. Instead they want to 'do their bit' by suffering some cut-backs along with the rest of us. They've been feeling 'left-out' you see. Left out of Mr Cameron's 'Big Society'. They've made it absolutely clear to Mr Cameron that 'We're all in this together'. Jolly good chaps, what!

Perhaps not. Perhaps the BS of Mr Cameron's 'Big Society' has always stood for the BS of 'Bull Shit' many of us thought.

Eighty-two year old London resident Mildred Coughsweet was heard to ask a question many Londoner's have been thinking;

"If these youths have it away with these televisions for themselves in August without paying for them" she asks, "then what's going to happen in the run-up to Christmas when they want to get some nice presents to wrap up for their families?"

Don't worry Mildred, we might have a different government by then. Oh well, it'll soon be the end of the summer holidays. Roll on Christmas!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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