Striking new images of Mars revealing what appear to be hundreds of incomplete road-works littering its surface may be the best evidence that the planet once had the flowing water capable of excusing delays to millions of car journeys every year.
Astrologist, Merton Perk, said he was astounded to see the apparent remnants of primitively constructed bore holes which had seemingly been dug up repeatedly over a painfully slow period of time.
Mr Perk told journalists, 'The careless distribution and continual disturbing of the same area's of soil in these pictures tell a story of a perpetual failing to transport water successfully, wasting millions upon millions of cubic tonnes of the stuff whilst bringing great expanses to a standstill.'
'The rivulets in the images suggest spillages were on a corporate scale, a fraction of what would be required to quench the entire continent of Africa.'
'So we found it strange that whatever disorganized force was at work here apparently abandoned the digging works being undertaken several times before returning to fill the holes back.'
'They would then beat a hasty return sometime later to dig it up again.'
'Whoever left this lot in charge of managing the infrastructure could quite easily have brought about the extinction of an entire alien race.'
'Their intellectual level doesn't inspire much faith.'
'I could practically see the high visibility jackets and smell the stench of a street side port-a-loo.'
Thames Water issued a statement expressing empathy with the Martian's whilst revealing their tactic for dealing with a water crisis.
'Float on the stock exchange.'
