Company Executive Thrown Off Train For Talking Loudly

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

image for Company Executive Thrown Off Train For Talking Loudly
Barry Ludlow, 'it was a long walk to my office, and they ruined my shoes'

In this age of political correctness and lack of patience for one's fellow man, things seem to have dipped to a new low.

Barry Ludlow, 37, a high ranking executive in a city firm, was unceremoniously removed from a train on his way to work last Monday, for merely talking loudly in to his mobile phone.

He told us "I was busy having a conference call with several chums, talking about how much partying I'd done at the weekend, and how much money I had made for the group last week, when I noticed people tutting at me."

"I was only shouting because I knew everyone in the carriage would find my story witty and interesting, much more so than their boring little lives!"

Rail network spokesperson Roger Basildon told us "we are aware of an incident occurring somewhere on the Paddington line, involving a shouty man who was annoying passengers, but we are conducting a full investigation before we make an official statement."

Passengers who witnessed the incident were left relieved by the protagonists removal.

Irene Stott, 78, was on her way to meet relatives in London. She told us "I thought I'd gone deaf when they chucked him off the train! He was yapping on and on about some 'filly' he had picked up in a bar, and what expensive car he was going to buy with his 'massive bonus'! And he kept looking around, as if seeking approval from his fellow passengers. What an arsehole!"

Sam Ringwald, a student travelling back to university, told us simply "yeah, he was being a real tit!"

The rail network spokesman came back to us after viewing CCTV footage of the incident and told us "it's clear that a man in a posh suit with a briefcase was most definitely being an annoying twat. He deserved to get booted off."

Ludlow was made to walk the rest of the journey, and has launched a lawsuit against the rail network for 'ruining his Guuci shoes'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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