Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

image for Rail Station Picks Up National Award
Not seen at Upper Applethingy for yonks!

A local railway station has won a top award in a prestigious national competition.

Travellers love Upper Appleby-cum-Lower-Diggshollow station so much they voted overwhelmingly to make it Best Local Station in the Our Railway Stations Are Really Nice, Honestly, Awards,

Said local commuter, Damian Tricorn: "They keep the station so clean and tidy - there's no fag ends, packets, plastic bottles, used condoms and other rubbish here.

"And the staff are so polite and helpful, not to mention smart. The announcements are always clear, too - nobody mumbling incoherently into a knackered old Tannoy here!"

And Mrs Thumbelina Moribund added: "You also feel very safe here at night. It's well lit and there's someone in the office until quite late.

"It's a lovely place."

Upper Appleby-cum-Lower-Diggshollow was a victim of the Beeching Axe and was closed in the 1960's, but this has not dimmed the staff's enthusiasm for the station.

Said station master Matt Gloss said: "Well, we provide a service, don't we? If we weren't here the locals would have to get the bus into Gloucester, wouldn't they?"

Asked why he remained open despite the lack of trains, Mr Gloss said: "No, you don't understand... the nearest other station is up at Gloucester. That's a bus ride away for these people!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
35 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more