Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 7 May 2011

image for Cops' strip poker showdown defrocks Beatrice and Eugenie
Flushed out: royal slappers lost the shirts off their backs when a reckless security gamble bombed

London - A Royal Protection Racket cops' straight flush has stripped useless royal slappers Beatrice and Eugenie.

Prince Andrew's molls were caught 'frightening the whorses' and now see their 24/7 bodyguards axed in the austerity cuts.

A radical stir-up of Buckingham Palace casino rules will see the annual £500,000 cost of minding the slags borne by Andrew's dodgy oligarch pals.

The shaikh-up has been dubbed W.H.O.R.S.E - Windsor Texas Hold 'em/Omaha eight or better/Razz/Seven card Stud/Seven card stud Eight or better - as new high end stakes tables replace the existing scam.

Online gaming website Aintgottaprayer.con said today cops had played a blinder with a tactical 'pure nuts' hand.

The site's profile of the 'one-eyed royals' reckons they'd overplayed their hand and would now be 'walking back to Houston' - where Eugenie's birth Pa Jeffrey Epstein headquarters a secret global slush fund.

"Unfortunately there's no getaway money left in the pot," website odds-assessor Dave Mug Punta commented.

"Cops have to finance guarding the new royal whorse Kate Fiddleton and costs could soar when she starts to breed."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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