The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have had their first argument and are undergoing a "temporary parting of the ways".
The Duke is unhappy with the public perception of the former Kate Middleton as being "a lazy mare" as she has not worked since 2008. His wife further annoyed him by stating that she would rather "walk over hot coals" than commit to a rigorous schedule of public engagements proposed by the couple's private secretary.
The Duchess has obtained a sick line from her doctor testifying to an "ongoing nervous condition" that prohibits his patient from "overdoing it" for the next 24 months at least.
As a result, Kate is applying for Employment Support Allowance which replaced Incapacity Benefit earlier this year.
She has put her contact address as c/o Mummy and Daddy, Berkshire until a final decision on the couple's future has been made.
The Duke of Cambridge is said to be "devastated but not that surprised" at the turn of events as he had started having misgivings on the way back from the service at Westminster Abbey.