Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 12 March 2011

image for Queen's disaster tourist Prince William pulls out of Australia/New Zealand visit
Close shave for Antipodeans as William is told to stay home

London - 'Royal tragedy voyeurism' is how one disgruntled blogger put it as details of next week's vanity trip were first announced.

A Palace decision to send Prince William on a tour of catastrophe-hit areas of Australia and New Zealand has now been put on hold amid widespread public derision.

"His presence could bring such comfort to the disaster stricken," a Daily Smearer correspondent predicted.

"If only they'd included Glorious Kate," another concurred, "think of the boost to UK prestige!"

In the end sense prevailed and William was grounded on anaesthetic - er...aesthetic! considerations.

The Palace U-turn also includes Prince Andrew - whose Saudi beano has now been scuppered amid widespread disgust of his fawning over highly suspect despots.

Also on the No-Fly list are Princess Anne's fat-finding visit to Iceland's bankrupt Kaupthing Bank (best lie low awhile, Ma'am!) and Bea and Eugenie's safety deposit box trip to Fred Goodwin's RBS (Panama) Holdings Inc.

That just leaves Prince Edward, who nobody wants to invite anywhere anyway on account of his ugly, boorish and mad-as-a-hatter wife Sophie.

Sarah Ferguson is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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