Cops probe JFK connection as priest from Polish UFO/satanic cult charged with bodysnatching

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 14 February 2011


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A former headmaster was a UFOlogy nut at the altar boys finishing school

Henley - (Hocus/Pocus): An official from a Polish satanic cult obsessed with UFOs and communion with aliens has been charged with bodysnatching by Henley police.

Marian Fathers acolyte Fr Wojciech 'Perdurabo' Jasinski is accused of grave robbery in a sordid plot linked to an outreach orifice of the mafia.

Rap sheet details say he replanted the remains of a 14 year-old boy - previously interred at a convent in Bullingham, Herefordshire - in Henley grounds linked to Jacqueline Kennedy.

Witold Orlowski, died in highly dubious circumstances in a Mexican village circa 1944; his corpse was subsequently smuggled into the UK by his mother around the time of the 1953 Coronation and reburied in St Rapahel's, Bullingham.

Jasinski, 40, exhumed the lad's remains and planted them in Henley where the cult previously ran an altar boys finishing school.

Its previous headmaster-priest was a UFOlogy nut who was investigated following accusations of running UFO contact sessions 'instead of teaching Christian religion'.

The lush Berkshire acres are the site of a church built in 1970 by the wackjob cult, funded by the US First Lady's former brother-in-law Prince Stanislaus Radziwill.

Cynics have described the 30 pieces of silver that he paid for the church's erection as a crude attempt to buy safe passage to the afterlife.

Once married to Caroline Lee Bouvier Canfield the Lithuanian princeling was convicted of stealing and laundering £30,000 via an international paedo masonic network called the P2 Lodge.

The sex cult eventually bankrupted Italy's Banco Ambrosiano, bringing down the Vatican Bank alongside - and was the subject of intensive FBI, the CIA and UK anti-espionage agency probes in the 'suicide' of God's Banker Roberto Calvi.

Radziwill's theft financed the building of St Ann's (Satan's??) Church where bizarre rituals took place in tandem with cultish worship in a former Hellfire Club temple in the school's grounds.

The 18th century Devil's Island Temple was built by demon worhippers including the Hellfire's Dashwood and Freeman families.

It was supposedly deconsecrated by the Marians who then used it for 'mainstream' worship of whatever deity protected them from prosecution by Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency cops.

In the 1970s and 80s a tunnel running beneath the school's main 18th century building to the Thames was raided and IRA weapons were seized.

The school was eventually closed down after being bankrupted by a major arson attack as well as a series of child sex abuse scandals linked to the clergy.

Jasinski faces a damned long prison sentence if the CPS charges are proven in court.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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