Isle of Wight News - Time Capsule from 1969 Unearthed in Wootton

Funny story written by Charpa93

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

image for Isle of Wight News - Time Capsule from 1969 Unearthed in Wootton
Isle of Wight Festival 1969

A time capsule was recovered in a field in Wootton last week, and an opening ceremony was held at the Woodside Bay Caravan Park on Saturday.

City of Ryde officials were on hand to open the time capsule showing a date of 1969. Since 1969 was one of the most incredible years of our century, those in attendance were expecting to find some very valuable memorabilia upon opening the capsule. The mood of the crowd was described as "highly excitable." Not even the steady downpour of rain could dampen the spirits of the attendees.

Some of the largest stories of our time had happened in just one amazing year-1969--and it is assumed that is the reason someone chose that date to create a time capsule. Some highlights of 1969 included:

Moon Landing: The United States was successful in landing a manned space vehicle on the surface of the moon.

Tate-LaBianca Murders: Followers of Charles Manson were charged with killing Sharon Tate and four other wealthy residents in Los Angeles as part of his Helter-Skelter scheme.

Woodstock: The largest open-air concert ever of rock music took place on a farm in upstate NY.

Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five and Mario Puzo's The Godfather were at the top of the best selling lists and the August issue of Rolling Stone Magazine featured a story that year on the now famous Isle of Wight Festival that booked such famous acts as Bob Dylan and The Band for August 31, 1969.

Speaking of the Isle of Wight Festival, that concert has since gone down in history as one of the best of the century, a British Woodstock as it were. Besides Dylan and The Band, it included such incredible music talent as The Who, the Moody Blues, Eric Clapton, and Joe Cocker, not to mention George Harrison, John Lennon and Ringo Starr of the Beatles and Keith Richards and Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones. It was with these types of happenings and the memorabilia that could lie within the time capsule that the crowd's anticipation this past Saturday in Wootten was at fever pitch.

When the seal was eventually broken and authorities took a quick look inside, time was brought to a standstill and a hush went over the crowd. Inside they found the following: the obligatory copy of the Bible, a 1969 issue of Teen Beat Magazine, a yo-yo--but not any old yo-yo mind you, it was a purple Duncan Butterfly Yo-Yo--several tins of peas, a half-eaten cod sandwich, and some coins jangling around loosely at the bottom of the capsule. That is all there was, except for some crumpled newspaper to fill up the rest of the capsule. A hand-written note lay on top:

"Hi. I'm Tommy and this here's my mate, Dickie. We're ten. We was 'sposed to bring this here time capsule to our school mum so's the class could fill it wit' all kinds of super stuff, but we decided we could do that on our own, so we just filled it with shite and put it in a hole.


P.S. I stole the tins of peas from me mum's pantry so's I wouldn't 'ave ta eat 'em no more. The end."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more