Isle of Wight News - Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to live on the island?

Funny story written by IainB

Friday, 7 January 2011

image for Isle of Wight News - Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to live on the island?
Artists impression of Rob and Kristen coming home from the shops

Hollywood megastars, Rob Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart are looking to set up home together on the Isle of Wight.

Reports from Sandown Estate Agents owner Juliette Horby indicate that they are looking at Whitecliff Bay.

"The couple were in our Sandown office at the weekend," said Horby. "They said that they had thirty two million pounds available for a house in the area. I pointed out that for that price, they could probably buy the whole of Whitecliff Bay, and they looked like they were seriously considering it until they both burst into laughter."

The couple have looked across the whole island, and have taken long breaks there.

"They said that they like the lack of paparazzi," said Horby. "They also have a fondness for the nightlife in Ventnor, especially the Hong Kong Express restaurant."

It is most likely that Pattinson and Stewart will be buying the vacant Bembridge Windmill which has been on the market for about three months. A grade two listed building, the three hundred year old windmill requires extensive work to remodel it into a liveable home. However, money appears to be no object to the couple. This adds fuel to the rumour that the pair are big fans of the TV series Jonathon Creek, and are looking into making a big screen version of the mind-bending crime drama.

"The windmill has its own grounds and is not easily visible from the road," said Horby. "Both appealed to them."

In another juicy bit of gossip, the pair enquired on local childminding facilities, and the Ofsted report for the local school, which should start the rumour that the pair are looking to start a family on the island. After checking with the Hong Kong Express restaurant, we can confirm that Stewart only drank water and avoided all the dishes containing nuts, surely a sign that the pitter-Pattinson of little feet will be sooner, rather than later.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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