Hoping to cash in on the rash of royal engagements, Sorry, Doshless of York, has announced she is engaged to Prince Andrew, but perfectly prepared to call it off for the right price.
"Well," sighed one friend of the creative Doshless, "I suppose it isn't very nice accepting a bounty to bolt, but on the other hand, compared to selling him outright it absolutely oozes dignity. In its way."
The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh are said to be 'absolutely not delighted' at the news, an important aspect of the Doshless' strategy.
"As she sees it, the Duke becomes so apoplectic at the mention of her name, she's pretty sure she can wangle a pay off to go away for good. Mind you, in her world, going away for good only means lying low until the money runs out. She's like a hydra. Granted, a cheerful, bouncy, blindly optimistic hydra, but a hydra nonetheless."
There was no comment from Prince Andrew, who is currently engaged telling fart jokes during 3-shows a night aboard a Caribbean cruise ship. The Doshless has undertaken her annual pilgrimage to Sandringham, where she mopes around the front door, hoping to be invited inside. Reports say at last sighting, she was covered in three inches of snow.