Trouble for Atheists

Funny story written by j.w.

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

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Atheist Beards can Cause Difficulties

The spread of Atheism is causing problems. There are conflicts of interpretation among the non-believing assemblage.

There have always been Humanists, Rationalists and Secularists fighting each other, but now there are new breeds: Anarchist Atheists who declare 'No God, No State' labelled by their brethren as violent -the AA's respond by saying they are only acting in self-defence. Swinging Atheists (sometimes confused with the Sexular Atheists) claim to be a modern version of the old faith. A problem has also arisen with ex-Catholic Atheists warring with ex-Protestant Atheists but peace talks are making slow progress.

A different type of difficulty arises with ex-Muslim Atheists, a dying breed, who allah want to return to growing their beards longer than anyone else. Now Muslim chief Osama Bin Laden has has called Atheism Rubbish, being outdone by a cousin Osama Bin Overladen, who has been suffering from a spate of strikes by Bin Men in Afghanistan. The Rubbish Union of Afghanistan have issued a denial: they say they have bin and gone - Overladen left his bin out too late.

Elections for the vacant post of Atheist God have been marred by accusations of vote rigging. Richard Dawkins and Stephen Fry were neck and neck in the voting when a Dawkins supporter declared 'Fry Fry Fry in Hell!'. At which Fry men, putting aside their bars of chocolate, responded with 'Dawkins is a Dork'. This however was misheard by former Atheists from Judaism as 'Dawkins is a Pork' and his vote descended into the arms of Hades.

Dawkins tried to explain he was quite open minded about eating Pork, but despite the American Jewish lobby defending him the Dawkins campaign was badly wounded.

A world Atheist Observer Team are to inspect all voting papers in the vote for an Atheist God, as the United Nations will not recognise the Atheist God without a true reflection of opinion being guaranteed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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