OXFORD - "Let's stick to the evidence: Yesterday morning I awoke as a winged metallic moth man; nobody knows how it happened. That is all the evidence. Everything else, including supernatural acts, divine intervention, and mothman prophecies, is wild speculation," asserted Dr. Richard Dawkins, professor emeritus at Oxford University.
"To even ask, 'Who turned me into a metal moth man?' already assumes the incorrect answer, that some individual transformed me. Did it ever occur to you that my transformation may have been a natural process very similar to that in which a caterpillar metamorphoses into a moth, except that I'm a human, I changed overnight, and I'm now metallic?
"The fact that people can't agree on whether this event is a blessing or a curse merely proves that the event has no intrinsic meaning, no symbolic significance, and is simply a physical fact.
"As a biologist, I find my metamorphosis to be a fascinating scientific mystery. I would conjecture that my exoskeleton is aluminium or titanium, a light-weight metal beneficial for flight. Now, do you see how reason can immediately be applied to solve the mystery?
"No, this unusual event does not incline me to wax religious. In fact, the event inspires in me even greater admiration for nature's limitless creativity. I wish that everyone could have the joy of seeing things my way," Dr. Dawkins concluded before flying off to a seminar on the neuroscience of belief and dogmatism.