Atheists Worldwide Are Speaking Out

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Thursday, 9 December 2010

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Atheists enjoy rainbows too

A female representative of the organization 'Atheists of the World", which has millions of members world wide, sent an email to one of the Spoof's top journalists saying:

"We - members of 'Atheists of the World' are planning a protest which will put other protests in our shadow.

Protests are being held by all other groups, around the world, protesting for their religious and or political beliefs, ethnicity, and sexual orientation. People are protesting against the Government for increases in University tutition fees. People are protesting against Summit Meetings. The list goes on.

We, the atheists, are the forgotten ones who rarely get a mention in the media. So, we are taking action.

People who believe in a higher power - be it a chair, a tree, or GOD himself, look down on us as evil humans, scum, likening us, in some areas, to KKK members, AA members, CIA or KGB members.

We are often afraid of 'coming out' to others for fear of being persecuted and shunned by family, friends and colleagues. We are tired of pretending, bowing our heads to the Lord's Pray and bowing heads during the saying of 'Grace' at school, family and public gatherings. Scared someone will notice and start asking questions.

Atheists are not wicked people.

We don't start wars. Well, a couple of atheists did but we consider them to be 'mentally deranged atheists'. For example Adolf Hitler. There ARE exceptions to every rule in every faction of society. Which goes without saying....but I feel I should mention it here. Hitler is one of the exceptions to the rule.

Hitler, and sick people like him, we DISOWN. Atheists do not want their names menioned in the same sentence as Adolf Hitler.

There needs to be a different word to describe such individuals.

We atheists, do good deeds and we do good deeds because we WANT to. We don't shout about it because we are not being generous and kind hearted just to get points from our Lord and Master (for we don't have one) - in order to 'earn' a place in Heaven (for we don't believe in a heaven).

We don't believe in a afterlife. Why should that bother anyone at all? We let others believe what they want and don't try to turn them against their personal beliefs.

People come at us from all corners if 'the word gets out' to try and 'save' us.

Please don't waste your time. We don't NEED to be saved. We are fine and happy just the way we are. This is, we know, difficult for you to understand.

If you believe in a god, then believe that we are fine and happy in ourselves.

We are not afraid of death because we know we will just be going to the place we were, before we were born.

A simple philosophy!

Our protest, when it takes place, will be a peaceful one for we are all peace-loving individuals who wish to enjoy the one and only life we have.

Heaven and Hell are here on earth and none of it is OUR fault.

Millions of us have read the Bible and other religious books. Just because we don't believe that the Ten Commandments were found carved on stones, doesn't mean we don't believe in the teachings. It's common sense. Good rules to live by, whoever wrote them.


A friendly, honest atheist."

We will keep in touch with this group and bring further details as they come in.

Note: Although this is presented as a Spoof in the Magazine a - hopefully - Spoofing does express the true feelings of many - not ALL - atheists around the world.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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