London's Burning

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 9 December 2010

image for London's Burning
Here We Go Again.

In the words of the late and much lamented Joe Strummer, of The Clash: London's burning.

Violence flared around Parliament Square as students protesting against increases in tuition fees were met by police officers, who elected to respond by hitting them with batons.

As the evening drew in, demonstrators rounded on police using crash barriers as weapons and shouting 'shame on you' and 'our streets' at the old bill.

Also: "Your job's next!"

The police response was to kettle protestors, who responded by kettling the police in turn.

It's a sad revisitation of the golden days of Thatcherism, when the country was effectively torn apart, and the cradle of the industrial revolution was sacrificed on the altar of commerce and banking.

We all know where that led us.

What started off as a protest degenerated into a riot as students and police battled each other with violent ferocity.

The statue of Winston Churchill was also defaced again, with brown spray paint dripping from the old man's arse, as if he'd shat himself.

As this Skoob News reporter writes this, violent confrontations between police and students continue within the shadow of the Palace of Westminster.

At one point a portaloo was set alight, darkening the night sky with vinyl chloride monomer*

We leave the last word with Skoob News reporter Skoob1999:

"It's like the poll tax demo all over again," he told us. "Except the irony here is that these people actually elected this government. How fucking stupid were they? What else did they expect? Welcome to the return of Thatcherism, 21st century style. You've only got yourselves to blame. You fucking idiots."

The violence continues as we speak.

More as we get it.

*Vinyl Chloride Monomer - VCM - A highly toxic, carcinogenic gas generated by combusting PVC. Nasty shit.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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